During our November fellowship meeting, we asked our 40+ participants to break into small groups and reflect on what was helpful to them in the early weeks following their accidents and what advice they would offer someone else in that position. The results are so full of wisdom and insight that I want to share them with our readers, so here they are.
Advice to new CADIs (people who caused accidental death or injury):
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Seek support
- Spend time with non-judgmental people who are understanding and caring
- Get therapy/counseling
- Allow yourself to accept support from friends and family
- Find community with people who understand what you’re going through
- Lean on others
- Address substance abuse issues if needed
- Caveat: People might not know how you feel because they haven’t been there
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Avoid isolation
- Don’t hide in a corner
- Isolation can be a huge problem
- You’re only as sick as your secrets
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Practice mindfulness and/or spirituality and religion
- Try to stay in the moment (avoid thinking about the past or future)
- Take it hour by hour
- Try meditation
- Be spiritual
- Use prayer
- Let God, faith or religion lift you up
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Keep in mind that this is a difficult process
- Take time to grieve
- Recognize there is a lot of pain and struggle
- Remember that we can’t control everything
- It’s a long process
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Treat yourself with compassion
- Look after yourself
- Know that you will be able to forgive yourself. You will get there
- Be patient with yourself
- Don’t read what people are commenting (on social media)
- Look for useful resources (books, etc.)
- There’s not one way to get through this. Don’t let others tell you what to do. Find your own path
- Do something with your feelings – channel them into positive action