There are probably some people out there who have found peace after unintentionally harming someone without any support or assistance — but we don’t know any. This is a time to allow yourself to ask for and receive support — from family, friends, clergy, therapists, and others who care about you and have the skills to help. The Hyacinth Fellowship exists because we all deserve understanding and compassion when we are suffering.
You might be reading this website because you care about someone who unintentionally killed or seriously injured another person. If so, thank you for striving to understand and help. Your support can make a huge difference. Even the smallest expressions of caring can have a lasting impact. You are not responsible for your friend or relative’s healing, but you can help them by holding them as they cry, listening without judgment, and offering practical support such as help with transportation or routine errands.
Support from peers can make a huge difference. We are stronger and more hopeful when friends and family stay by our sides and offer their help. Let them know what you need, whether it’s a warm hug, help with planning, or practical assistance with daily chores. A special kind of peer support comes from others who have unintentionally harmed someone. There is often a special bond among us, because we understand the experience from the inside out. This is what we offer in The Hyacinth Fellowship. We hope you will join us.
Spiritual questions are most likely to arise during times anguish, what many call a “dark night of the soul.” During these painful times, we feel lost, alone, and afraid. Psychotherapy tries to help us find our way out of the dark night, generally as quickly as possible. In contrast, a spiritual perspective invites us to explore the dark, where we can develop new sensibilities and insights. Rabbi Steve Leder wrote, “Pain is an invitation to fix what is broken in us and in the world.”
We recommend psychotherapy for anyone who has unintentionally killed or seriously injured another person. A licensed therapist will help you cope with acute and posttraumatic stress, moral injury, and other mental health issues such as depression. They will offer compassionate understanding along with methods for managing distress and exploring beliefs, values, and goals. It’s ideal to seek therapy as soon as possible after your accident, before problematic reactions become firmly rooted.