Blog

If you have caused unintentional harm, or if you are trying to help someone who has, you can find support and encouragement here. Click below and join the conversation. Tell us your story, ask a question, or offer your advice and guidance – we want to hear from you!Read More

The Hyacinth Fellowship started from humble beginnings in a Santa Monica, California condo by the heart and hands of Maryann Jacobi Gray. She built a website with the help of her personal trainer, friends, and colleagues to see this dream of a virtual refuge for people with a shared experience. She began to write blogs,...Read More

The day Chris Yaw accidentally killed a man will forever haunt him. It was November 2014, and Yaw, a 61-year-old vicar, was living in his old home in Detroit with his wife and children. One morning, Yaw came outside and saw that Kenny, his friend and gardener, had been trapped by the garage doors, which were made...Read More

There is a movie called “Resurrection” I saw in 1980, and it has remained one of my favorites.   Ellen Burstyn plays Edna May, who buys a car for her husband, played by Jeffrey DeMunn.  On their first drive together, he turns to thank her for the extraordinary gift, his eyes off the road, and...Read More

We rarely have a conversation about our core self, let alone give ourselves the time to connect with what we need, who we are, and what matters the most. This is at the very core of what Wellness Coaching is, and as such, I transitioned from being a lost soul, to the beginnings of laying...Read More

A Guest Blog by Melissa Mannion. Dear Heather, I have started this letter a hundred times “Dear Heather,” but that is as far as I ever could get. What is the best way to begin a letter to a woman whose life you accidentally ended? It’s been a year and I still have no idea...Read More

A guest post by Lois Brown. Few people escape the sorrow of grief, and its causes are innumerable; the grief of those who have lost family members in terrorist attacks and other acts of deliberate violence; the grief of those whose loved ones have been killed in accidents; the grief of people who have lost...Read More

During our November fellowship meeting, we asked our 40+ participants to break into small groups and reflect on what was helpful to them in the early weeks following their accidents and what advice they would offer someone else in that position. The results are so full of wisdom and insight that I want to share...Read More

Note from Maryann: I am so pleased to share Jennifer Eikenhorst’s lovely essay, “Walking Into Another Year.” She wrote this shortly before the anniversary of her accident. Jennifer tells me that she made the day meaningful and spiritual, including a hike in some beautiful woods near her home. Jennifer and I invite you to find...Read More

In my last post, I discussed how family members and close friends can support a CADI and help them cope after a serious accident. In this post, I focus on the importance of supporting yourself while supporting a CADI. As a friend or relative of a CADI, you experience your own stress and trauma. You...Read More

Providing social support to a family member or friend who has unintentionally killed or seriously injured another person will help them cope and heal. Many CADIs fear that they will be shamed, rejected, and cast out of their communities and friendship circles. Simply reassuring them that you care is so important. In addition, even when...Read More

Jennifer Eikenhorst has kindly agreed to let me post this essay, which explores the provocative question, “Am I a killer?” and also considers some of the other big questions that many CADIs ask. Her insights and sensitivity offer us hope. In fact, Jennifer hosts a great podcast called Accidental Hope, which integrates the wisdom she...Read More

I am pleased to present this guest blog by Todd. His story touches my heart. He offers a compelling description of how he transformed trauma and despair to strength, love, and compassion. Please join me in thanking him for his contribution. If you want to communicate with Todd, please send an email to accidentalimpacts@gmail.com and...Read More

The Los Angeles Times published the op-ed below on December 31. I am pleased to share it with you here. Los Angeles Times Opinion Section By Maryann J. Gray When someone unintentionally kills someone else, it’s usually because of a car crash. This year, COVID-19 could easily be the No. 1 cause of such deaths....Read More

One of the more frequent questions I get from those who have unintentionally killed or seriously injured someone is whether to contact the victim’s family.  My answer is, “Maybe.” The impulse to apologize is powerful and a beautiful sign of humanity and caring. But in the immediate aftermath of an accident, many lawyers advise against...Read More

Introductory Note: I am grateful to lawyer Jared Staver for contributing this blog post, which offers very useful information for anyone considering the need for legal representation.        — Maryann Being involved in a car accident can be one of the most traumatic events in a person’s life. Furthermore, causing an accident can burden you with...Read More

Many years after my accident, I was shocked to learn that the road where I was driving at the time, U.S. Route 27 in Butler County, Ohio, was considered one of the most dangerous highways in America. It had even been nicknamed the Highway to Heaven. I had always considered the accident a very personal encounter...Read More